An Open Door, Part 1: Crisis

“How fortunate are those who have reached the end of their rope – it is here that they will discover an open door to God’s dwelling place.” – Jesus of Nazareth.

“When the Student is ready, the Teacher will appear.” – Lao Tzu

I don’t know how many times I have heard people mutter something like: “I’ve got to get my shit together.” Some may say it a little different, but most of us can relate to the feeling. It’s easy to think that if we tried just a little harder, we would somehow be able to pull together all the frayed and loose ends of life into something that would finally work out right. After all, it seems like everyone else is able to keep things together for the most part. Some people even seem to be sitting on top of the world – paragons of monumental success. What’s our problem?

Maybe we heard similar messages directed at us by others: “When are you going to get your act together?” If it’s not bad enough that we feel ashamed by falling short of our own expectations, then we have the disappointment of others adding to the already crippling pressure.

What exactly are we all hoping to get right by pushing ourselves so hard? We could make a list: Money. Time. Smarts. Looks. Charm. Organizational skills. Relational skills. Self-esteem. Attitude. Health. The list goes on.

We always seem to be running out of something. Maybe it’s the energy to get out of bed or simply the will to keep moving forward in the face of what seems like a meaningless rat race. Eventually everyone finds that they don’t have enough, or can’t be enough, to succeed in this crazy game the world has arranged for us.

Even those that appear to be at the top of the scoreboard, seem to be compensating for something that eludes them – deep emptiness or longing. We hear the whispered tales of their total meltdowns and crashes. The ultimate irony is that even if you are able to ride the wave of success all the way to the end of your life, you still wind up with nothing.

What if we were to simply stop playing this game?

Often this is exactly what happens when disaster strikes and a person is faced with a significant setback or crises. At the point when everything seems to finally fall to pieces we are forced to let go of the rope, at least for a moment. Through no choice of our own a crises like this brings the life we had imagined for ourselves to a screeching halt. It is then that we find ourselves facing a reality we would rather ignore. That we really don’t have any control over what happens to us.

Sooner or later, I believe every person reaches such a point in life. We can try to mask and cover in front of others what’s really going on deep inside, but at some level we know we can no longer pretend that we have a handle on things. The fear and shame that we face at this moment can drive us to despair, or perhaps in a new direction altogether.

The good news is that if we are willing, we have the opportunity in these moments to discover the exit ramp off the crazy freeway of a “I need to be in control” life, and onto a path that offers the freedom and peace we are seeking. It doesn’t come by frantically trying harder to keep control of ourselves and our circumstances. It comes by actually letting go of it all and falling into a space that exists beyond ourselves. A space where we discover that there is Someone Else waiting to catch us. No wonder that the first step of the Alcoholics Anonymous program begins, “We admitted we were powerless …” This honest and raw realization is the first step towards new freedom and peace.

This is why Jesus of Nazareth begins one of his most famous teachings with the words, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for to them belongs the kingdom of Heaven.” It’s important to note here that he is not saying that people who are the most pious and spiritual will go to Heaven when they die. Jesus is saying that people who have had their egos completely stripped away are now in a unique position to perceive what’s really happening – inside of them and in the world around them. It’s a tipping point that we only truly discover when we are at the end of our rope and ready to let go. A new door that slowly opens to us and reveals a far off and different country than the one we have known. This kind of “alternate” reality is what Jesus called the “kingdom of Heaven,” or often simply the Kingdom of God. 

The entirety of Jesus’ teaching on earth revolved around the idea of the Kingdom of God. He described it through numerous parables and stories. He proclaimed it as having already arrived on earth and being close enough that anyone could touch it. He is recorded as demonstrating the liberating nature of this new “kingdom” by healing the sick and accepting those rejected and shamed by society. It was so central to Jesus’ identity and purpose that he was ultimately willing to suffer and die for it.

Unfortunately, the phrase “Kingdom of God” has lost most of its meaning for us in a modern age. We don’t live in actual kingdoms with literal kings, or if we do they are mostly powerless figureheads of state. We have no frame of reference for the kind of language and metaphor that Jesus was employing in his own time. We might even imagine connections to blood-thirsty Crusaders who were driven by a misguided understanding of who God is. However, when you closely look at what Jesus had set about to teach, we discover nothing less than an alternative kind of Reality, in allegiance to an alternative kind of Ruler.

This is always the first step in discovering who God actually is. A desperate desire for an alternative to everything else that seems to be out there, a different path that leads away from the madness of the crowds. After we have seen everything, tried every method, done every drug, and realize that we still haven’t found what we are looking for – only then are we ready to enter into this new kind of living and being that Jesus described. The pain and disappointment of everything that came before in our life exchanged in a impossible paradox: by letting go of life, we actually discover the life we always wanted.

However, it takes at least one additional step to be made before we can set off through the open door revealed at the end of our rope. We have to actually let go of the rope!

This series of posts will continue in “Part 2: Letting Go“.

A Prayer of Response:

Father/Mother God – what is it about your Love that I am still struggling to believe? Show me where I still do not trust in your goodness. Show me where You were with me, even in my darkest times of crises. Help me to see that during these painful times that You did not leave me but were walking alongside, giving grace for the moment. Let this realization increase my trust for the inevitable challenges ahead so that I may weather such times with confidence in your love.